Tribe.net. Local Connections Sciencequeen http://gtuqtis.tribe.net/thread/b0b7469c-bf81-4be1-8bff-0d2aa0d4f29f#265701ec-4e34-4ae1-801c-d9df948ef397 2008-01-30T19:55:32Z 2008-01-30T19:55:32Z

Thank you! You're taking a bold step by actually saying it. My friend and I used to say to our friends "We don't think gay marriage should be legal, but we also don't think straight marriage should be legal either." As you mentioned, people only did it for property and tax write-offs...that sounds a lot more like a business deal than celebrating a loving relationship. Not only that, but the people I know with the strongest relationships never got legally married, and they've been together 20+ years. Because they KNOW that at any moment, their loved one could walk out the door. No legal ramifications (unless there's a child involved). Knowing that someone has the same amount of freedom you do to leave, the more you're both willing to work to stay together.

Sciencequeen 2008-01-30T19:55:32Z Sodoma http://gtuqtis.tribe.net/thread/b0b7469c-bf81-4be1-8bff-0d2aa0d4f29f#6be2f84d-d712-4c47-8ff1-122791a08c51 2008-01-30T19:47:50Z 2008-01-30T19:47:50Z

When Mass. passed its same-sex marriage legislation, everybody cheered. Lambda Legal Defense is spending, we can only imagine how much, on trying to get same-sex marriage legalized in every state. Every gay writer and speaker I read or hear praises these occurances as if they are victories for gays. I, on the other hand, see the gays who buy into the institution of marriage as a slap in the face. Marriage, as an institution, has a history of oppression, sexism, and was not intended to be entered into as a show of love. It was firstly about property rights. And, ironically, that perversion of a love relationship is why gays are so desirous of marriage themselves, namely, property and other rights. The same writers who complain that they have a problem with being called "queer", because it can be used in a derogatory manner, and implies that they are odd, or different, hail marriage as a higher form of relationship that they themselves are willing to wear precisely because they forget it's origins and divorce it from it's true purpose in society. They wish to believe the lie that their purpose is no different than heterosexuals'. In the process they are denying who they are, their history, their creativity, their connection to the gay community, are willing to be demeaned by the nature of the marriage contract, and the fact that marriage has always been sanctioned stricktly by the straight, male dominated culture. It represents the most complete and shocking capitulation of who we are as a community. In fact, it demands the death of our community as we settle into our homes in the subburbs and "quietly fit in". They wish to turn an institution on its head to fit their agenda, and in ignorance are willing to take on a contract that only makes them look like filth. Marriage, in recent years, has proven to be a failed institution that heterosexuals themselves are turning from or dramtically redefining in the hopes of salvaging a sinking ship. We can only wonder why. One must remember the millions of arrainged marriages placing women into lives of servitude and childrearing. This situation is not that far removed from our distant past and still practiced around the world. How can we with clean hearts become complicit in such an institution?Many argue that marriage is just a word describing a relationship, something we as gays can borrow and make our own. Marriage is much more than just a word, it is an institution with an ugly history that carries with it many expectations and limits. It is for these reasons that striving towards marriage is odious, and corrupts gay culture. Frighteningly, these same people feel that gays should be allowed to marry because, according to them, we have spent decades proving that we are just like heterosexuals, and therefore should be treated the same. Well, actually we're not anything like heterosexuals and this conceit lays bare how deep self-hate runs in the gay community. "We must be like straights to be good and worthy of equality." I believe that we must applaud our uniqueness, and regain our innate creativity by creating a gay union that is more beautiful and eternal than an old, institution based on inequality. I firmly believe that same-sex relationships must be given equal protection and rights under the law, however, we must realize what marriage is, and know that it cannot be taken away from it's historical context, social and societal meanings, divorced from its purpose which in no way serve same-sex couples.

Sodoma 2008-01-30T19:47:50Z